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Then again, Jesus arguably picked some real losers, too, starting with that self-loathing closet case Paul of Tarsus. At least they were all gone, at least for the moment, and the world was mine even sooner than I expected. I immediately turned to Elizabeth and gave her the marching orders that I always intended.“Russia. Go there. Get as much tail as you can! Don’t stop for nothing. No one has halos anymore, so anyone fourteen years or older is fair game. Grow a futa cock when you must. Fuck couples in their beds, married or not, gay, straight, bi, lesbian, etc. Be indiscriminately promiscuous. Fuck vagrants, drunks, junkies, street hookers, johns, etc. Fuck oligarchs, politicians, bankers, generals, spymasters, diplomats, including foreign ones, so forth. Fuck tourists, any priests, monks, and nuns who didn’t get Raptured, etc. Fuck everyone aged fourteen and up in Russia.“Non-stop fucking. Numbers will appear in gold to show you everyone’s age. Fuck the oldest person you can find. But it didn’t. This story isn’t a tragedy. It isn’t really a sad story at all. True, the next few days were very difficult for me. Going to school with all those pointing fingers and ill-concealed giggles was almost more than I could bear but thankfully it didn’t last long. And the person who brought it to an end was the person I least expected to. Daren Clarke himself. Okay, he didn’t repent of his crime, he didn’t fall in love with me, beg me for forgiveness, sweep me off my feet and head off into the sunset with me. We didn’t even sleep with each other again but he did do something that changed my life, and for the better. Unbelievably, the thing that turned my world around was a single line of text he posted on WhatsApp a couple of days later. ‘The iPhone’s great Mike. Better luck next time! Btw I’m only screwing fat girls in future. They try so much harder, feel so much tighter and last all night long!’ Of course it was a joke, but there was a real if twisted compliment in.
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